If you have led or managed people, you understand this topic very well, and you can ask yourself “Is it lonely being a Leader“ ?
Leadership is the other side of the coin of loneliness, and he who is a leader must always act alone. And acting alone, accept everything alone.
Ferdinand Marcos
Emotional Challenges and Isolation that Accompany Leadership Roles
Leadership loneliness is not something that happens just with the CEOs, CFO’s and other top-level executives
it is a very common phenomenon across most of the employees today,
especially the first time leaders or the new line managers
When I mention loneliness, it’s the feeling of being alone though surrounded by many individuals around you.
As I said, you may be always surrounded by people, but doesn’t mean you cannot be lonely.
For example: you must have always noticed the hesitancy of people reaching out to you, or communicating with you. Well, It could be the respect to be on the positive side, or they are not comfortable around you.
Leading people from different countries, I have personally gone through both the positive and the negative side of being alone.
It could be the:
- position you hold which builds the GAP
- hesitancy or shyness to connect
- Your employees expect a need to contact you (for example: contact when there is a problem or a good news)
To be very honest – people do think before communicating with you because
You are their leader, and they don’t want to be wrong or set a negative image in front of you.
Come on, you are their boss and of course you do understand and respect that.
I have come across some of the wonderful managers in my career whom I respect a lot and call them as my Leaders, I do hold the hesitancy of holding me back purposely to avoid being wrong.
It also depends upon the different culture and background, we can never ignore the different cultures and background people come from, understanding this shall solve most of the problems.
So what is the solution around this topic?
I do not think there are fixed solutions
however here are some of the actions I have taken which helped me to overcome
Hold regular communication with your people
Your people should know you better
Building the foundation of trust and relationship with them to make them understand who you really are.
You can think it’s nice to say
but, I have so much work to do where the hell I have so much time to connect.
Say whatever you want, it is your responsibility to build a solid connection with your people and make them feel part of your team.
So there is no option of escaping here!
Get to know your people better
Trying to learn their interests, asking questions apart from work may bring your people closer to you
(of course, be clear on the questions you do ask and avoid asking personal questions which may hurt them)
Spend more time Coaching or Share your Unique skills
Being a leader, you possess a broad amount of information compared to your team members, it doesn’t mean they know less.
Considering you hold the leadership position, definitely you shall have the knowledge or additional information.
Use it wisely to guide them, which allows your team to enhance their knowledge working with you
For example: share best practices related to presentations, excel automations, risk management, Business continuity management, etc…
This does help you to strengthen your knowledge
Connect with leaders around you
Proactively interact with your peers
Trust me, they may be going through similar challenges just like you.
Who knows, you may solve or overcome the difficulties by openly engaging with other fellow members
Hangout for a coffee or a tea break. Take a quick walk, you may feel refreshed when you get back to your office.
Technology has advanced so much these years
there are amazing tools like LinkedIn which can help you finding the right mentors too, here is an interesting article about Finding the right mentor: a resolution for 2021
If you are a new manager and not getting enough support within your company. I would suggest you to identify a mentor as soon a possible, either through LinkedIn or other forums. It is one of the proactive steps you must take to get out of this leadership loneliness.
Conclusion
Allow me to ask you again, Is it lonely being a leader? I am sure it is a difficult position as you are in charge and accountable.
Of course, the amount of stress you must handle will be enormous answering all the difficult questions. Undoubtedly, you will feel alone while you take the responsibility.
Holding strong relationships and bringing teams together shall improve and may divert you from being alone
How did you handle loneliness while managing teams? You are welcome to share your stories or the lessons you have learned which will be useful for a lot of people like me and you!
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